lastnite I went to the Tech N9ne, Paul Wall Fire & Ice concert, with the girl I like Kacey.
I thought it was gonna be just the 2 of us... I was wrong.
After I pick her up she tells me her cousins gonna be joining us cuz her plans fell through and she had nuthen to do.. Then she tells me oh yeah, my ex Anna (who wants her back) is gonna be there too. On top of that we ran into some other people she knows.. one being this guy Kyle who also likes her and ended up joining us.
It seems like everyone that knows Kacey, wants her!
And I have no idea if I even stand a chance. she did appologize and stuff for what was going on. cuz like she kept tryen to stand with me but it seemed like anna & kyle kept pushing her to the center of the group cuz they all wanted to dance with her and be next to her and stuffm and they kept pushing me to the  back of thr group.
like everytime she turned around I was in the back again and she'd be like "what are you doing back there? come up here with me!" but yeah withen minutes it seemed I was right back to the back. I didnt mind standing behind her so much, I was kinda protective and there were wannabee moshers around so I kept them from thrashen into her. I tried dancen a bit but I just kept getting knocked into and people pushen me tryen to get by all the time... she didnt notice so she thinks I dont dance much.. cuz she didnt see it.
Then when the concert was over I was tryen to stay behind her, but fucken the guy kyle like got in the way and stayed behind her with his hands on her hips and shit like they wre a couple..
We talked on the way home bout all the stuff and yeah she appologized for the way Kyle & her ex Anna both kept tryen to like be with her kinda. said it wasnt cool that they did that when she was there with me.
Even though it wasnt a date she said it wasnt cool...
so I dunno maybe she might like me some?
She knows I like her. but when we start talken bout it (through texts) she kinda stops talken till the topic is changed.

And also...
i'm kinda a secret.
She's saposedly not with her most recent gf anymore. but her myspace says "in a relationship" still. And she doesnt want me to leave her any comments and I have to put the pics I took of her, and the ones of the 2 of us together all in "friends only" albums cuz she doesnt want the girl to know about me.
She says she just doesnt want the hear all the crap the chick will give her... so I asked this mornin if she was ever gonna truelly end it wth the chick and she said yah..
I guess we'll see.
Why is she hiding me if we're just friends?

ok so heres a few pics from the concert lastnite...

I met this chick named Kacey, she's lez, lives here in fallon. I like her.

bout 2 weeks ago I invited her to join Eric & I in reno for dinner and  movie. I didnt want to be alone with him. So she came and we had fun but she made the mistake of sayen i'll do anything if a guy wants to pay my way. she didnt literally mean anything but, but heres what happend.
We were late to the first movie so needed sumthen to do. decided to go to the mall..

Erics- "Victorias Secret!"

Kacey -"haha ok, if you want to buy me stuff"

Er-c - "ok if you model them!"

Kacey "haha fine with me"

Me -*thinking* oi vey.. thats not good

So we get to the mall and as I thought Kacey chickens out. but Eric wont give up, everytime we pass a store with bikinis or bra's or anything he points them out and says "you should try that on!" it was funny once or twice but he said it like 20 times. I told her he wouldnt give up till she model'd sumthen and we were both getting really annoyed. He did end up buying her an outfit from American Eagle.
Then we went to Suzies (an adult store) and he followed her around there to offering to buy her toys and shit. He got all mad when I made us leave cuz I had to use the restroom. but then the ass waited till I went to the restroom to get her number. she thought ok always good to have more friends....
WROOOOONG
Eric is a freak. for real.
withen a few days of knowing her he asked her to move in with me. said he'd keep paying half the rent. thats when I found out he'd gotten her number. I asked him if he liked her, cuz he knows I do. he said no not in that way. I told him he'd better fucken not. cuz he knew I liked her and cuz she's a lez.
He fucken lied to me!
Agter about a week of kacey putting off the move I found out why.
she was worried bout him.
I guess he's started texting her telling her he wanted to fuck her on the weekends that he was in town.
After that I wanted to fucking kill him. but she said no, cuz she really did want to live with me. so I told her fine i'd try my best not to say anything. but told her that she didnt have to worry bout him. cuz if his ass tried anything he'd be outta there in a heartbeat. I dont care if he stopped payen the rent.
Now she's yet to move in and he'll be in town tonite. she told him she had a family reunion to go to in cali or some shit.. I work all tomorow and from like 11-4ish on both weekends. I think i'ma tell him I have a family thing to do aswell then me & Kacey are just gonna ditch his ass and go to Reno.

Its a fucked up situation.
I also have my friend Jen stayen with me. she's 18 and still in highschool.
Me & Kacey were talken, she's gonna look for a second job and we're gonna look for a different place to live. then move out and not tell Eric where we went, change our numbers and just be rid of him.

I had a frame sort of thing added around the tat on my arm. it was to plain before. 

In other news,
Eric has said he wants to be my bitch. litterally.
He just got a job down by Vegas maken twice what he makes now, and even though he wont be living with me he wants to continue paying half the rent then just come up on weekends. he'd be like a phantom roomate. but yeah he wants me to dominate him and tell him what to do and shit. which I cant do, cuz well hell i've always been the bitch lol. plus he's a guy, and i'm a lez, and I dont want him thinking there is anything between us. I also dont want to feel like I owe him. Plus he creeps me out and I know he's a pervert.
So today I showed the apartment to a gay boy whom I hope is interested. I dont like living alone really, its pretty lonely.

I've talked to Grace quite a bit over the last few days which is surprising (in a good way of course). sadly now she's saying it might be a few yrs before she ever gets down here to visit. she's been having financial problems and says she needs to get her life back on trach before she can make the trip.
I cant wait that long man! I wanna see her. =(
years! I mean seriously?!?

oi this sucks.

so heres whats happend recently.

The guy Eric who was saposed tp be my roomate it seems didnt actually get the job in Reno. therefore will have to remain in Bakersfeild Ca. he'd already braughten half his stuff down, so he'll have to come take it all back.
And I yet again will be on a major roomate hunt. Although I did get a decent raise at work, I still cant afford the place on my own, unless I get like overtime each paycheck.
He's offerred to continue helping me with my rent if he can, but I would hate to do that, especially sicne he doesnt want me to pay him back. thats just to weird... like a sugar daddy kinda thing.

In other news, Angel and I are no longer talking again.
She just cant seem to get over old shit. and i'm tired of her telling everyone that I started all the stuff between us. cuz I fucken didnt. I'm not sayen I never made a move, but I didnt start it the first times, whch are the really important times.
So first she got made at me over sumthen on myspace, then she tried to make a mutual friend mad at me, then she started bringing that shit up agian. I'm just tired of it.

Tis the season,

to be lonely.

Britt isnt going to Cali afterall. She actaully managed to get out of the navy and left this past tuesday back home to Louisiana. My new roomate will be this pervy guy named Eric whom I met through Britt. It kinda sucks but it was either him as a roomate or move back in with my mother, which I refuse to do. I'll just have to get a lock on my door so he wont go through my stuff when i'm not home, and always remember to lock the door when i'm in the shower. I'm sure he'll never try anything on me, but I cant put it past him to try an "accidently" walk in on me when i'm in the shower or getting dressed.
He really is a perv, he's got an addiction to porn and those damn live cam shows you find online.
On the good side, he wont be down here till late jan, so i've got the place to myself for a lil over a month. Also he'll be working as a bus driver in Reno. so i'll prolly rarely see him except on his day off. cuz reno is an hour long comute, so if he works a full 8 hr shift... an hour to, 8 hrs there and an hour back, thats like 10 hrs of the day gone right there. 

The holidays are pretty lonely with Britt gone. and Angel left lastnite to spend christmas with her husbands family in Wyoming. so yeah for the next week its just me, by myself, no one to hangout with or anything. Ofcourse christmas day i'll spend with my family. I have to work for a lil christmas eve which sucks ass..
But we were able to score new years eve night, and new yrs day off, which is awsome.
We (being Angel, me & anyone else who cares to join us) plan on going to Reno, prolly hit the clubs or the big festivities goin on in any of the downtown casinos on the strip.

OH!!!

I finally went to the gay club Tronix in Reno. so many people have promised to go with me and never went through with it.. Finally me & Angel decided we wanted to go, so it was us along with gay boy Jace, his straight friend Matt, and then our new friends Casondra & Alicia.
The first time we went it was pretty damn fun till the end of the night... it was like 5am when we finally left the club and I was the one that had to drive the hour back to Fallon. It was 6:30 when I finally crawled into bed.
The 2nd time sucked. and we got home at like 5:30 that time.